Please oh Please

In my most shameless attempt at trying to get a job, I have started a petition to try and get my foot in the door at The Onion.

The Onion is a hilarious media organization. They started in the print world and have since then created hilarious news stories in both visual and audio media realms. I have wanted to write for them ever since I started writing comedy at the IOwest theater.
Being that comedy writing is a very competitive field I felt that I needed some way to set myself apart from everyone else. So I created a petition. I have been sending the petition out to family and friends. I even reached out to a couple online community forums that I belong to for their support. So far I have gotten up to 54 signatures inside of 5 days.
I am hoping that with time comes a larger number of supporters and gains the attention of The Onion. I have sent a follow up letter to my initial contact at the publication and am awaiting [any] response with nervous shaking knuckles.

I am both nervous yet confident at my chances and will keep all of you in the know about any progress.